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  “Asher, wait.” I move around the counter and tug on his tie to bring him down for a kiss. It’s quick but the Goddess light sinks in when I place my lips on his. He calms as I let him go.

  “I’ll see you tonight.” He leaves a little less worried, though I can tell something’s still playing on his mind.

  I start to eat, but it’s almost as if his anxiety has transferred to me now. What if it is something dangerous? Why is Sky visiting, really? I sigh and wonder when Eli will be awake. Nick will be crashed out for hours. He might not even be up when Sky gets here. I call her back, but she doesn’t answer.

  There’s a knock on the door about an hour later, while I’m watching a sappy daytime soap on TV. I sit up and frown at the time on my phone. It’s way too soon for Sky, and I’m not expecting anyone else. Maybe one of the security guys needs to tell me something? I pick up the walkie-talkie, wondering if the batteries are dead.

  There’s another knock, same solid sounding tap. Kind of ominous, official sounding. Shit. I get to my feet hesitantly, and go open the door before I can change my mind. If it’s anything really dangerous, a locked door’s not going to stop it from getting in. The creak lets me know the hinges need oiled, and only makes me slightly jumpier than I already was. The middle-aged guy in the deputy’s uniform looks incredibly serious. My heart leaps into my throat.

  “Can I help you, officer?”

  He glances me over. “Eden Rose Masterson?”

  “Yes.”

  “I need to ask you some questions.”

  “Questions? About what?”

  “How well did you know Doctor Blake Lewis?”

  “Um, he’s my doctor,” I say, thoughts catching on the ‘did’ a second later. Panic floods me. My chest tightens and I struggle to draw in a breath.

  “That’s all?” He raises an eyebrow.

  I feel my face flush. “Yes.” I’m not sure why it feels so important to lie about the recent development in our relationship, but I’m having trouble processing what he’s asking me. “Why? What’s happened?”

  He sighs. “He was found dead in his office this morning.”

  I grab the door, my knees trembling at the news. He wasn’t mine yet, and we hadn’t spent that much time together, but the shock of this sudden loss knocks the breath from my lungs. The room feels like it’s starting to spin.

  “Are you okay?” Said in the suspicious tone of someone who doesn’t trust what he’s hearing.

  I have to get my emotions under control. I breathe in slowly and nod. “Sorry, I just... I can’t believe... He’s dead?”

  “His throat was cut.”

  Oh God. I feel sick. I can’t even string a response together now. It’s taking everything I have just to stay standing upright.

  “You were the last person he had scheduled an appointment with.”

  I frown. “Um, what?” I’d cancelled our last appointment. I supposed it was possible he didn’t have that many patients, but his last appointment being two weeks ago? That seemed less likely.

  “He had you scheduled in yesterday morning.”

  Shit. Had he logged coming over to ask me out as an appointment? I frown, shaking my head. I don’t know what I’m doing, but the dread filling my stomach tells me I’m digging a hole. I should stop, but it’s probably already too deep to climb out of.

  “I cancelled our last appointment.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Well, we’re conducting a full investigation. Let me know if you ‘remember’ anything.” I swear, he captions the word ‘remember’ with his fingers, he just doesn’t raise them from his hips to do it. This guy is an asshole. I wonder how well Eli knows him.

  “I will. I’ll be sure to let your sheriff know too.” I push a smile to the surface.

  “My sheriff?” He passes me a card.

  I keep my lips shut. Common sense tells me he’ll see my relationship with Eli as suspicious, relevant to his ‘investigation’. I take his card and close the door.

  Fuck. Why did I lie? I blink and tears fall from my eyes. Blake is dead? Sorrow fills me. How can this be happening? It can’t be true, but I know it is. We’d barely started getting to know each other. The thought that he’s gone makes my stomach twist up in heavy knots. This can’t be happening. It just can’t.

  And just when I think I couldn’t hurt any deeper, an obvious thought pops into my head and makes everything that much worse. I struggle to suck in a breath as I try to come up with an answer that lets me off the hook. I don’t have one. There’s nothing that doesn’t put his death squarely on my shoulders. Please don’t let it be because of me. I don’t know who I’m begging, but the silence doesn’t offer much in the way of comfort. I know it in my heart, this is my fault.

  Chapter Eleven

  Logan

  The last twenty-four hours passed in a haze. The heartbreak is hiding under the surface now that Diana’s body has been taken from her house. I spent hours in a frantic state, and had to be sedated when the police arrived with a local doctor. The numb feeling kicked in soon after and hasn’t gone.

  Don’t leave town. That was the last thing I’d been told. I’d laughed. Couldn’t help it. Her death wasn’t by her own hand, not really, but telling them that would be useless unless I felt like giving a confession. Her mother has been dealt with. I have no-one to punish but myself for leaving when I should have known.

  I don’t want to go back to the house, but I have no-where else to go. Walking past Eden’s mansion was a special kind of torture of its own. I need to get out of this town. I need to, but I can’t.

  Not until Diana’s death is officially ruled a suicide. I think about calling Sky, about setting everything back up to go back to work. It’s the only thing that will soothe me now. I need my thoughts to be kept busy. I need to be completely absorbed in a task that’s too important to allow for wallowing.

  I strip out of my bloodied clothes and go into the downstairs bathroom in Diana’s house. I will never be able to use the one she died in. The water is cold when I run the shower but I step under the stream anyway, and stay there until it runs clean into the drain.

  The calm sets in while I change. Doing bad things only feels terrible while I’m doing them. After, it’s always the same. There’s a void, and then there’s only calm. I consider what to do with my blood-stained clothes. I can’t just leave them lying around. I need to clean them, or I need to burn them. Considering I have time to waste waiting to be given the green light to leave, I start washing them in the bathroom sink. It might take a while, but the blood will come out. My sins will be washed clean.

  I didn’t touch the clothes I was wearing when I held Diana. Those stains will never wash out. They’re permanent. A reminder that I failed her.

  Of all the bad things I’ve ever done, that was the worst.

  Chapter Twelve

  Eli

  I awaken when I hear Eden talking to someone down stairs. The pain in my arm was probably what actually woke me, but either way I haul myself up and swallow down some of the less potent painkillers Eden gave me yesterday. The hospital prescribed meds were too much like tranquilisers and I didn’t feel like spending the rest of my vacation in bed unconscious.

  Throwing on a shirt, I wince at the headache my movement has stirred. Spending the night at Nick’s club had been more interesting that I’d expected, but I got the feeling I was going to regret the extended tasting session we’d embarked on with his new supply of beers.

  I throw on jeans and head down to get some water and see Eden. She’s on the couch when I get there, one hand wrapped around her stomach and the other covering her mouth. Something’s wrong. I go straight to her.

  “Eden, what happened?”

  She sniffs and moves her hand, looking up at me. Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears. She looks like she’s barely holding herself together. I sit next to her and put my good arm around her.

  She puts her head on my shoulder. “I’m cursed.”

  “Cursed?”<
br />
  I stroke her cheek and feel it when her tears escape. Whoever she was speaking to upset her. Anger begins to well within me.

  “What happened?”

  She sniffs again. “It’s bad, Eli.”

  “I know bad, Eden. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

  She sits up and wipes at her face. Her eyes have trouble meeting mine. “Someone killed my doctor.”

  That makes me tense. Murder isn’t common in a town like this. “Someone came to tell you that?”

  “One of your deputies.” She looks me in the eye. “He came to me because Blake’s last appointment was with me. He seemed suspicious.”

  “Which deputy?” I ask, though I have an inkling already. Most of my men do their jobs well enough not to make it blatantly obvious how they feel about someone they’re questioning.

  “I didn’t get his name. He was about fifty, with grey hair and a really serious face.”

  “Ben Johnson. He’s an idiot. He’s ten years away from retiring and there’s actually a countdown clock in the station for the day he’s going.” He’s the worst one who could have come out here in the case of a major crime.

  “I told him Blake hadn’t been here, but he came to see me yesterday.”

  I can tell by her voice that there’s more to this. The guy she’s talking about, the one who died, meant something to her. “Okay.” I can see why she might have lied about it, considering how abrasive Ben comes off. I only hope it doesn’t become a problem later.

  “It wasn’t a house-call. He was dropping me as a patient because he wanted to date me.”

  She watches me carefully as soon as her words are out.

  “You thought he was your fourth?” She’d spoken about it after everything that happened with those Gods of Destruction. If there was another guy she was due to fall for, it would affect all of us.

  She nods slowly. “I don’t know what it means that he died. I can’t believe this. It has to be because of me, right?”

  “No. Don’t think like that. You don’t know that this has anything to do with you, Eden.”

  “It’s a pretty big coincidence if it doesn’t.”

  I wonder if she’s right, but I don’t want to make her feel worse so I just pull her into a hug. “I’m going to call in and see what’s going on with the investigation.” And I’ll rip Ben a new one for making Eden feel this way. “This isn’t your fault. So don’t think it is.”

  She sniffs and pulls away. “Find out what happened. I need to know.”

  I get up. “My phone is upstairs. This shouldn’t take long.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Eden

  I’m still in shock when Eli leaves to make his call. I feel safer knowing he’s got my back, but nothing can make me feel better about Blake’s death. Even if we find out the murderer is a complete stranger, I’m going to feel culpable. The damage is done. That deputy’s judgemental stare really did a number on me.

  If it is my fault? I don’t know how I’ll be able to cope. Everything is messed up enough. Actually being the cause of someone’s death would be enough to make me reconsider chasing my path to happiness. Before I was a Goddess, I may have been miserable, but at least I wasn’t getting anyone killed.

  “That’s no way to appreciate your abilities, Eden.” Cupid’s voice is close enough to make me lash out an arm. He takes a bump to the nose and his mouth falls open.

  “You scared the living crap out of me.” I scowl at him. He really chooses his times to show up.

  “I’m busy,” he says, shrugging.

  “It’s like you don’t even try with your excuses anymore.”

  “It’s not an excuse. You’ve been doing fine since L.A. You’re not going to need me at all soon.”

  “I seriously doubt that, considering you...”

  “Shhh!” He actually claps his hand over my mouth.

  I frown at him and consider biting his palm. He whips his hand away.

  He doesn’t want me saying it out loud. He helped me with those Gods and we both know it. Like he helped me with Diana. He’s not supposed to take sides. Was that why he didn’t want the words spoken aloud? He nods at me pointedly. I breathe out a sigh.

  “Well, then. You can at least tell me why the man who was supposed to be my fourth managed to get himself killed.” My voice shakes on the last few words and I cross my arms. I feel like I’m about to burst out crying all over again. Cupid confirmed Blake was going to be one of my guys. He couldn’t have known this would happen.

  “Some things are... changeable,” he tells me, sounding like he’s choosing his words carefully.

  “Changeable?”

  “He did feel like one of yours, but his fate may have been to never have you. These things happen.”

  “So I’m only meant to have three lovers?” I want to make sure I’m covering every base, since he’ll disappear soon and not bother to come back until I’m flustered again and not thinking of the right things to ask him.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  Back to cryptic answers. Great. “One of those Gods told me I had four. He said it like he knew who they were. Was one of them Blake?”

  “We don’t know what that God was thinking. Only that he wanted to torture you.”

  I try to focus, to read his mind. It doesn’t work. I don’t know why I thought it might. Damn it. I really need to get Lawson to teach me how to do that. Reading Cupid’s mind would get me the answers I need, for sure.

  “You can’t read my mind.” He tells me. “So don’t strain yourself trying. It won’t work.”

  “Spoken as if you’re afraid it might work.” Yeah, I’ve got his number. He’s such an ass.

  “It won’t.”

  Okay, then. “What happened to Blake?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Can’t you find out?”

  “It doesn’t seem important.”

  “I might be accused of his death.” That’s what that visit from deputy frowns-a-lot was all about, after all. Checking me out as a potential suspect.

  “If you are, you’re innocent. So it doesn’t matter.”

  Damn this guy. “If you’re not going to help...”

  He vanishes. He knows the drill by now. I just wish I could shake real answers out of him.

  Eli comes back down the stairs just as the doorbell rings. I get up and give him an expectant glance on my way to the door.

  “He was killed this morning. I’m being kept in the loop for updates. They don’t have any real suspects yet.”

  Eli’s words do nothing to calm me. I need information and he isn’t telling me anything useful. I need to know what happened to Blake. I need to know why.

  As I answer the door, I try vainly to think more pleasant thoughts. If only it were as simple as flicking a switch inside my brain. I could imagine all the cute animals and sunny days all I want right now and it wouldn’t change a thing. Blake is gone, and I don’t know how to accept that. My emotions refuse to reign themselves in. I’m gutted by this loss and I don’t know how to handle it.

  I blow out a breath, and try to push my grief to the back of my mind. It might not stay there for long, but I have to at least make the attempt. Sky is here for a reason that might be cause for celebration. I don’t want to piss on her parade.

  “Thanks for the rescue,” Sky tells me, immediately hugging me.

  I hug her back, and it makes me want to sob again. I manage to choke the feeling back, but I know it won’t be quick in fading. She looks me over as I step back to let them in. Asher was right, she brought Lawson. It’s strange, but seeing him helps me to keep my emotions in check, to keep my composure from cracking. It’s because he’s not close. I instinctively want to put on a front to avoid him even suspecting I’m hurting. It would make sense with any other random guy Sky was dating. It doesn’t around Lawson, considering it doesn’t matter how hard I try, I can’t hide anything from this man. He’s probably reading my mind right now.

  “I was s
o out of it when you left L.A. I didn’t get the chance to speak to you,” Sky says.

  “I was kind of the same,” I tell her. “I wasn’t sure about leaving you there, but Lawson insisted.”

  I glance at her hand. No ring. So there goes that idea.

  “So how are you feeling?” I ask as I lead them to the living room.

  “Amazing,” Sky says, sitting down without letting go of Lawson’s hand. She glances at him and I can see the love shining in her eyes. My heart swells. She was able to let go of the past. For him.

  I turn my gaze on Lawson. His energy seems different. He’s calmer, more content. It’s not a huge departure from how he was before, but I’m never going to forget how he looked when he killed that God. The anger that had been inside him then was gone. I hope we never have to see it again.

  “Anyway,” Sky starts, a grin appearing on her face. It’s so good to see her so happy. Her eyes are practically sparkling. “You’ll be getting a call from Amy soon.”

  “Amy?” Okay, now I’m suspicious.

  “Relax, it’s good news. She worked out a deal that will let us tour together again. It’ll be just like the old days. How awesome is that?” She gushes all of it out before expectantly gazing my way.

  “Um, what?” My response is numbed by annoyance that Amy would try to arrange something like this behind my back, when as far as she knows she’s fired. What a bitch. But then again, touring with Sky’s band would be amazing. I’d be with people I knew, people I loved spending time with.

  “I might have gone to her with the idea,” Sky reveals, frowning slightly. “I thought you’d like it.”

  “I do. I was just thinking I might want to go back to work soon.” I glance at Eli, who’s busying himself making coffee.

  Sky follows my gaze. “You sound a little... Oh. Why do I kind of recognise him?”

  “Eli’s...” I hesitate when I remember her reaction when she found out I was seeing Asher and Nick. She couldn’t believe it was more than sex. I don’t think I can handle having her react that way again. Shit. How the hell am I going to handle telling the world, when I can’t even tell my best friend?