Lovestruck Read online

  His earnest makes me smile, not to mention the other things his proximity seems to cause. I tell myself it’s only my out of control lust for any good-looking man I come across, but I know it’s more than that. The feelings I have for him never went away. All those nights we shared moments while I was still with Hunter, wishing I wasn’t. At the time I’d wanted to act on those feelings so badly, but I knew I’d regret it later. I’d thought I was still in love with Hunter then. I don’t know what changed when I broke up with Hunter. The feelings didn’t go away, but they didn’t feel as right as they once had.

  “I turned my phone off and got a new one.” I shrug, seeing his eyebrows rise and feeling kind of silly. I couldn’t tell him why I’d done it. To cut myself off from the media, and avoid stumbling across any details on Hunter and his new girlfriend, or rumors about why I had cancelled my tour. That was a little too pathetic.

  “Oh. Well, you could have told me.”

  “You’re not my body guard anymore, Logan,” I tell him, seeing the slight tensing of his jaw the instant I say it. I hadn’t wanted anyone around me after it happened. Especially not the guy who’d bloodied Hunter’s face up for cheating on me. Maybe that was it. I’d been too raw to be around him. He’d seen and heard too much. “I’m kind of off grid here for a reason.”

  “You’re lucky the paparazzi haven’t swooped into town yet. You’re going to need protection soon.” He pauses, and the sigh is faint but pained before he goes on. “It doesn’t need to be me. I just came here to make sure you were doing okay.”

  I nod. He’s probably right, but I don’t want to think about it. I came here to get away from all the trappings of fame. All of the bullshit that goes along with being in the public eye. Finding myself seems easier alone.

  “I’ll think about it.” It’s a lie, and he can tell. We were too close once. There’s no fooling him.

  He stares at me, and my panties feel like they’re going to melt right off. I have to get him out of here. We’re going to end up falling into bed together if I don’t.

  “I’m not leaving until I’m sure you’re safe.”

  I really wish his commanding, protective side had stayed quiet. He knows how to take charge of a situation. It’s incredibly sexy. I can’t count the number of times I’d done something to tease him after he’d uttered words like those in my presence. My favorite move had been stripping down to my panties in my bedroom doorway after telling him I was going to bed. I always felt his eyes on me. Then I’d usually kick the door closed, reminding myself I was with Hunter. The one time I’d left the door open he hadn’t taken the invitation anyway. He was just too good.

  “What about Skyler and her girls?” My best friend’s band had taken him on when I went off grid.

  “They have a full security detail. You have a broken basement window and an alarm system that’s been disconnected.” He shakes his head. “You said you needed space and I gave it. Now I can see you weren’t thinking clearly.

  I want to be pissed at him, I really do. Some big bad man thinks he can show up and start bossing me around? Who does he think he is? Only, he’s totally right. I wasn’t thinking when I came here. I didn’t notice the basement window. Hell, I’ve never even looked down there.

  “Whatever. I need a coffee.” And a cold shower, more importantly. Want to watch? Bad, Eden. Stop thinking of him like he’s a piece of meat. I go to the coffee machine. “Do you want one?”

  He gazes at me and I watch his eyes lighten before he nods. The irritation in his tone is gone when he answers. “Black, same as always.”

  I know how he takes it. I also know by the way he’s looking at me what he’d rather be doing than drinking coffee. One move and we’d be falling into bed together. I wonder what’s stopping me as I fix the drinks. I wish I knew.

  Chapter Seven

  *

  LOGAN

  At first, I understood Eden’s radio silence. She was hurt badly and needed time to recover. Hunter had screwed around with a groupie and she’d found the bastard out. I suspected it wasn’t the first time he’d done something like that, but I had no proof, and I didn’t really want any. Messenger always gets shot. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in this life, it’s never be the messenger.

  When it happened, Eden was inconsolable. She’d screamed at Hunter to get out of her room. He’d told her to calm down. I’d asked if she was okay, hearing the row from my room across the lounge area of the fancy suite. She’d spilled what he did, thrust his phone at me. Evidence of his betrayal right there in living color. He’d looked at me as if I should be on his side. He’d actually told me to give her a sedative. He’d rolled his eyes, said she was going batshit over nothing. I punched him out.

  He left after that, calling us both crazy. She’d cried in my arms, sobbing her heartache out. That was the last night I’d been this close to her. Shutting me out had been part of her healing process. She could barely look me in the eye the next day. Calling her manager to cancel the last of her tour dates and a bunch of other commitments she’d had lined up, I knew a big change was coming, but I had no idea she’d fire me and leave town.

  I should have said something. Should have fought to stay at her side. But I knew the truth. She couldn’t stand being around me now. Didn’t matter that I wasn’t the messenger. I’d been there when the ugly truth came out, and that was enough. It had tainted me. She’d never think of me the same way again.

  “Black, no sugar,” she mutters, putting the mug down on the counter.

  I’d followed her into the kitchen area, though this level of the house had a few interconnecting sections, the living room and kitchen were open plan. Not an ideal set up security wise. Too much ground to cover. Too many possible entry points.

  “Thanks,” I say, picking up the mug and taking a sip. Too fast, burnt the tip of my tongue. Damn. It probably served me right for thinking dirty thoughts the moment she walked through the door.

  Something about Eden just provoked my inner caveman. I could be perfectly focused and keeping my eye on a million little details, watching and waiting for the first signs of trouble to strike, and one soft sigh from her would fog my brain right up. Dangerous. The flip-side was I was more than willing to put myself in harm’s way to protect her.

  “I have eight spare rooms.” She picks up her own mug, blows on it and my brain starts to short circuit again. “So, you can take your pick.”

  Easy choice. “The one that connects with yours.”

  She raises her eyebrows. “You’ve already been upstairs?”

  “Of course.” I put my mug down. “I’m going to call a guy about getting the security system up and running. We need the intruder alarm working, and I want CCTV cameras in some key areas.”

  She’s quiet for a minute before she pulls a face. “I thought I was getting away from all of that bull-crap.”

  “We’ll discuss where to position the cameras, but you need them, Eden. I know this was where you grew up, but it doesn’t mean it’s safe. Even if everyone here is nice. If someone’s obsessed enough, or wants a story bad enough, they’ll do what they need to do to find you. I don’t want another bedroom incident…” I feel bad for mentioning it the moment she shudders, but it’s only the truth. I can’t take this easy on her. She needs the protection.

  “Did you have to remind me?” She takes a sip of her coffee and sets it down.

  “Sorry, but it’s the kind of thing that could happen again if we don’t set up proper security around here.” It wasn’t the time to mention bringing in a detail. I could see it wasn’t what she wanted. She’d need more time to agree to it. Luckily for me, Skyler had told me to take all the time I needed, as long as I looked after her best friend.

  “I still have nightmares about that guy.” She folds her arms and takes a breath. “Well, where do we start?”

  I smile. “Let’s do a walk-round and I’ll show you what I have planned.”

  Her eyes twinkle for a fraction of a second, her smil
e less innocent than the one I’d given her. I could have sworn I’d sparked a dirty thought in that gorgeous head of hers. Christ, Logan. Stop thinking about her like that. You’re projecting and you know it. Ugh. I hate it when my inner voice gets shrinky.

  “Let’s go.”

  The basement was kind of creepy. Lots of stuff covered up. I’d poked around until I was satisfied I’d checked every potential hiding place. Then I’d found a picture that covered the broken window perfectly and secured it in place as best I could with the materials available.

  “It’s spooky down here.” She shivers. “Ew, no. Is that a clown statue?”

  “Whoever lived here last had terrible taste in décor, that’s for sure.” The statue is life-sized, and I’d almost mistaken it for an intruder, until I got closer and saw the terrible paintwork. It’s faded on one side, like it had been left out in the sun.

  “I’ll say.” She raises her eyebrows at the picture I’d used to cover the broken window. It’s a beautiful woman’s face on the body of a Doberman. Weird A.F.

  “I need to get the number of a glazier. The guy I know who can sort out the security systems can locate one. He’ll need a local source to keep the alarm in working order, so he’ll be scouting for that anyway.”

  She nods slowly. Her expression is thoughtful, but I can’t stop my gaze from drifting down her body. The tight clothes are enough to send my mind places it shouldn’t try to go. I’m going to be sleeping in the room next to hers, connected by a bathroom. How the hell am I going to manage that without my thoughts driving me crazy? How had I done it for all those years?

  You know why, Logan. It’s all you. She doesn’t think of you that way. She never has, and ever since the night you punched out Hunter, she never will. I take a breath. I have to keep reminding myself. I’d come here to make sure she was safe. I’d do that and leave. Once I’m satisfied she isn’t in any danger. Which would probably be never. I repress a sigh.

  “We can have someone take away all the creepy shit too. Come on, this is just one of the areas I want to install a camera in.” I wait for her to head for the stairs before I follow. Big mistake. The swell of her perky ass is too close to avoid staring at, thinking about.

  “Where else do you want to take me?” She moves back and there’s that glint in her eyes again. The imaginary one. The one I only wish was there.

  I smile anyway. “Upstairs.”

  She moves quickly, heading up the main staircase to the landing. There are ten rooms up here; nine bedrooms with en-suites, and a sort of bar/lounge. All of the rooms have connected bathrooms, and Eden’s room has a massive walk-in closet. It isn’t bigger than her place back in L.A., but I don’t have a team here. I’ll feel much better once the security systems are up and running.

  I move towards her room and she lets out a gasp. I have to glance back.

  “It’s the only way I can have eyes on you twenty-four-seven.”

  “There’s no chance in hell you’re putting a camera in my bedroom.” She crosses her arms and doesn’t move.

  “Eden, you have a balcony with a staircase that leads out to the pool. That’s an outdoor access point. I can’t not put a camera in there.” I open the door. “I’ll show you where I’m going to put it.”

  She smirks, then a frown darkens her expression again. “No. Absolutely not.”

  “What? Why?” I don’t get it. She isn’t usually so vehement.

  “I’m…” She blows out a breath. “I’m single, Logan. And I’m not a nun.”

  “Um. Yeah. Okay.” I don’t know what to say. Has she moved on from Hunter already? Is she sleeping around? My guts twist. I don’t think I want to know. “Come and see what the plan is, okay. It won’t… interfere with your… love life.”

  She sighs as she follows me into the room. “I don’t like this.”

  I point out the place I want to monitor. “This just shows me if the entry point is breached.”

  “Won’t the alarm show you that?” She doesn’t sound sure at all.

  Given her reasons, I’m tempted to let this battle go. But the thought of something awful happening won’t leave me alone. “There are ways to bypass an alarm. I wouldn’t have caught your stalker that night if we hadn’t installed a camera in your bedroom, Eden.”

  She shivers. “Are you serious?”

  “I’m sorry, but I am. He was quiet. He disabled the alarm outside the building…”

  “He killed Eric…”

  I hadn’t been about to bring that up, but it was the scariest part. He’d killed one of the security guards and he was holding the knife he’d used to do it when he climbed into Eden’s bed. I got there a few seconds later. I’m not sure what it was that did it, but she woke up in the moment, right before I shot him in the shoulder. The knife fell to the carpet and she started to gasp oddly, as if she’d had the wind knocked from her. It had been the most terrifying moment of my life.

  “He could have hurt you.”

  She nods slowly. “Do what you need to do.”

  She walks out of the room. I curse myself for bringing him up, but it had to be done. I won’t risk Eden’s safety for anything.

  Chapter Eight

  *

  EDEN

  I walk down stairs, going to the basement door and fingering the lock. Talking about the freakiest thing that had ever happened to me was doing weird things to my insides. The nervous butterflies that had erupted on seeing Logan again were twisting and turning into something less pretty.

  There has to be a key I can use to lock this damned door. I’d barely even looked at the room before, glancing in and closing it again once the day I’d moved in. That damned statue would contribute to my nightmares now. I could just tell.

  “Are you okay?” Logan’s apprehensive question makes me turn as he comes down the last few stairs to the hall. “I didn’t mean to…”

  I shake my head. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “You were hurting.”

  “I pushed everyone away before I did this. I thought I knew what I was doing. You’re right. I was hurting. I had to leave everyone and everything behind. I couldn’t deal with anything.”

  “You’re doing fine, Eden.”

  I try to crack a smile, but it refuses to show up. “I’m so fucking lonely. I can’t write. I haven’t been able to sing. I’m broken, Logan.”

  “You’re not broken.” He shakes his head and when he moves closer I walk into his arms and hold on tight. “I promise you.”

  He feels so good, so real. The first tears that drop onto his shirt collar are the start of a flood. I’d isolated myself from everything, I’d run away, and it only took one visitor from my past to make me realize I’d been hiding to avoid the pain he’d just stirred in me by being here.

  “It’s going to be okay.” His softly spoken words don’t stop me from crying, but I know he’s right. He’s been right about everything. I’m going to be okay.

  I look like hell. An hour spent crying my eyes out tends to do that to me. I’d thought my tears had dried up. I’d thought I was done mourning Hunter, but I’d been hiding from it. Disconnecting to avoid the problem. To avoid feeling anything. Luckily, I have a few hours to look better for my date. Something I’d almost forgotten about in the shock of seeing Logan again.

  “I’m taking a bath,” I tell him.

  “You want me to make Ramen?”

  The question makes me smile. It had been a comfort thing when I was worn out from touring. Taking a long bath and coming out to a bowl of Ramen and some late-night talk show or other. Didn’t really matter what it was. We’d just eat and maybe drink a beer or two. I shake my head.

  “I’m going out in a few hours.”

  Those seven little words completely change the mood in the room. His expression shifts from concern to something a lot less attractive.

  “Out?”

  He’s the kind of guy who carries his tension in his jaw, so he looks like he could explode w
henever he’s angry. He has more control than to act on it, usually. Seeing him lose his cool the handful of times I have is more than enough to freak me out a little right now.

  I take a breath. There’s no point in trying to hide it. “I’m single, remember?”

  “Who’s the guy?” He frowns, and I almost wish I’d lied.

  “An old friend. He’s harmless.” Those last two words are for Logan’s benefit entirely. Those were the words he needed to hear whenever I mentioned someone new to him. Old habits die hard.

  Truth is, I don’t even know if it’s a real date. After the day I’ve had, I’m not sure I have the energy for that. I’ve never been any good at hiding my feelings. Asher will know something’s bothering me.

  Logan breaks his silence with a demand, “I want a name.”

  I roll my eyes. “Seriously?”

  “If you’re going to spend time with him I need to check he doesn’t have priors. Who knows what…”

  I burst out laughing. “Logan, seriously, I know him from school. There’s no way he’d even have a parking ticket. He’s way too straight laced.”

  He appears to relax slightly, but I can still see the tension in his jaw. “Is he picking you up?”

  Crap. Maybe I should call Asher and just meet him in town, or change this to another day, or… Or maybe I should stop worrying so much about hurting the feelings of a friend who’d just shown up and broken in to my house to prove a point I hadn’t cared about until he got here. So, he was a security expert, so what? I hadn’t invited him.

  “I’m taking a bath. You should relax, Logan. Or call your security guy. Get things set up. Whatever.”

  I move up the stairs before he can ask any more questions, and go into my personal bathroom, taking a few seconds to lock the doors on both sides. I peek into the connecting bedroom before I close that door, and I see Logan has already left a duffle-bag on the bed.

  I feel safer that he’s here, but I’m also kind of annoyed that he did all this without telling me. I suppose I disconnected my number, but Skyler knew my new one. She could have given him it. If he even told her. I run the bath and sit on the edge as it starts to fill. Logan could be secretive, but I’d bet my last dollar that Skyler coaxed his reason for taking time off out of him. She knew. Probably thought I’d appreciate the surprise. I’d blast her for not telling me later, when I was near my new phone again.