Lovestruck (Rock Goddess Reverse Harem Book 1) Page 9

  Leaving, I check my phone and find a few messages from Skyler telling me not to come back yet. Apparently, Logan is giving her some trouble. I sigh. I should be the one dealing with him, not her.

  I walk to my car and get inside, sinking into the leather. I realize I’m humming again as I start the car. Words are starting to form to match the melody. I haven’t even touched my guitar. This is incredible. I open my glove box and find a note pad to write them down. I need to start carrying sheet music around. The notes I’ve made are barely legible, but I understand them. It’ll do until I can get to my studio.

  I put the pad down and start the car, my eagerness to get home fading as I remember what I’m going home to do. This is going to suck. It’s going to hurt. I need to work out what I’m going to say.

  My imaginary friend appears in the passenger seat, and this time I’m not surprised.

  “You know what?” I glance at him and purse my lips. “You need a name if you’re going to keep dropping in on me.”

  “I have a name.” His dark eyebrows show above the rim of his dark glasses. “I gave it already.”

  “Okay, then,” I mutter. I’m still not sure where his face came from, and I refuse to call him by the joke of a name he gave me.

  “I’m not in your head,” he tells me, sounding somewhat indignant. “You didn’t choose what I look like. This is just how I look.”

  Curiouser and curiouser. I shrug. “Whatever. Are you going to tell me your real name or not?”

  “I told you my name.” He’s in a mood apparently. “You seriously still doubt everything I’ve been telling you after that whole thing with your soul-mate?”

  “I seriously doubt… Wait. Asher’s my soul-mate?”

  He smiles smugly at me. “In a manner of speaking. That doesn’t mean he’s the only man meant for you, of course. It just means you share a special connection.”

  Like I didn’t already know that. I bite at my lip, and he seems to know what I want to ask before the thoughts can properly form in my head.

  “The bodyguard has potential, but he’s nowhere near ready. You jumped the gun with him, so to speak.”

  “What do I do about him?”

  “Why do you think I’m here?”

  I shrug. “No-one else in town has imaginary friends you can go and play with?”

  He snorts. “I’m not your imaginary friend.”

  “I think I’m going to name you Fred.”

  “I can’t decide if I’m insulted or flattered. Naming me after a character played by a comedic genius is one thing. Naming me after a character the female protagonist has to get rid of to have the life she wants is quite another.”

  “Hey, I didn’t tell you to drop dead.” But I did kind of think it, and that’s pretty much the same thing with this guy.

  He sighs. “It’s centuries too late for that wish to be fulfilled, but let’s not digress. My name is Cupid, and there’s a reason I’ve been assigned to guide you into reaching your full potential as a Goddess among women.”

  I pull into my driveway as I take in the multiple bombs he’s just dropped on me. “That’s just too much crazy all at once, Fred.”

  I didn’t want to get out of the car. I wondered for the first time how Logan had gotten here. If he’d hired a car it would have been in my driveway. Had he actually flown and taken a cab? There was a car already here, and I assumed it was Skyler’s hire car. Driven by Cain, her main bodyguard.

  “He parked along the street,” Fred tells me, scowling slightly before I get out of the car. “I told you my name.”

  “You took too long to remind me so I named you first.” I shrug. “Too late to complain about it now.”

  I’m not calling him Cupid. That’s just bizarre. What kind of parent names their kid after a God of… Holy fucking shit. I stare at him. “You’re telling me you’re actually Cupid? As in…”

  He nods, but gives me the evil eye. “But that’s fine. You can call me Fred. I’ll remember that the next time you need help. Like, oh, I don’t know, right now?”

  He blinks out of existence. I curse as I walk towards the house. I have a heart to stomp all over, and the deity that could have helped me left out of hurt feelings. Shaking it off, I walk into the house.

  Skyler is standing in my kitchen with her arms folded. The tight leather jacket and low-slung jeans were covering most of her porcelain flesh, unusual for my outrageous best friend. Her long dark hair is still long and dark. Unusual for a girl who likes to mix things up, but she’s been mellower than usual for a while now so maybe it’s a permanent change. She turns from the men and grins at me before rushing over to hug me.

  “Hi, Sky.”

  She looks me over. “It’s so good to see you.” She glances back. “You didn’t get my messages?”

  “Long story.” I take a breath. “I think he’ll only leave if I speak to him.”

  My gaze locked on Logan’s from across the room. He’d been upset when I left, angry. He didn’t look much better now. My heart sank. I caused this, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I can’t give Logan what he wants.

  “Are you sure, Eden?” She lets go and I nod.

  I walk over to where Logan is, and my resolve starts to crack. Focus, Eden. You need to tell him to leave. No, I already did that. I need to make him understand why he can’t stay.

  “You went to him, didn’t you?” He practically growls the question at me.

  Cain glances my way, he’s poised and ready for trouble. Logan’s a friend to him, but he knows how volatile he can be, under the right circumstances. I shake my head at him.

  “Logan, I never should have mentioned him. That isn’t what this is really about.” I take a breath. Honesty is going to be the best policy, honesty and whatever the hell that truth revealing magic was that Cupid cast on me and Asher earlier today. I can feel that same magic is in me. I just have to learn how to access it. I touch Logan’s arm. “Can we talk, in private?”

  He frowns at me, but he nods. I pull him into my studio, the closest room with a door, but also the only sound-proof room in the house.

  “We’ll be right here,” Sky tells me.

  I nod as I close the door on my friends. This feels like a bad idea, but that’s mostly because I don’t know what exactly I’m going to say yet. The truth is all well and good, but I need to avoid mentioning Asher.

  “You’ve been with him. I can fucking smell it.”

  I groan inwardly as my face heats under his intense gaze. This is not going to be pleasant. You’re a Goddess, Eden. Don’t let this human’s bullshit drag you down. My guilt over hurting him fades. I touch his arm, feeling the light warm my skin before it washes over me. The truth, Logan. I need it.

  “He’s not your concern.”

  “I’m going to kill him.”

  I take a breath and feel the light pulse from my fingers into him. “I’m not like other women, Logan. I don’t want what they want. It’s not enough. I need more.”

  All true, and scary as hell to admit. He’s still frowning, still full of fury over what I’d told him. My clumsy words have hurt him, but there’s no way to do this without hurting him. It would be foolish to hope for that.

  “I don’t understand.” Only the truth. My touch is working on him.

  “I’m capable of loving more than one man. I always have been. Why do you think there was so much chemistry between us when I was still with Hunter? It wasn’t because I didn’t love him. It was because loving him alone wasn’t enough.”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “You just… You were with the wrong man. You made a bad decision and you regretted it.”

  I shake my head. This truth is the hardest to admit, but I have to. “I loved Hunter for who I thought he was. I won’t apologize for that. But I can’t fall into the same trap that I did with him.”

  “I would never cheat on you.”

  “I know. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m not meant to be with one man, Logan. And you need me to
only want you.” I shake my head. “We got caught up in the moment but it’s never going to work out between us. Tell me you understand that?”

  “I don’t. I know you, Eden. You’ve been hurt badly by what Hunter did. You’re trying to stop yourself from getting hurt again. That’s all this is.”

  He truly doesn’t understand, and I’m beginning to doubt he ever will. What would get through to him? I honestly don’t know at this point. Why did I have to go and piss off Cupid? I sigh.

  “No. It’s me being honest with myself. I’m not going to accept anything less than what my heart desires ever again, Logan. I won’t put myself through the torture of trying to be like everyone else. I can’t.”

  “You’re telling me you’re a slut.” He pushes me away, gently but with a firm hand.

  The light recedes as I move back. His words sting, but I know he’s angry. I can’t get through to him.

  Cupid appears behind him and touches his arm. “You’re going to go around in circles with this one until you give him what he wants. It will get messy for you, and his psyche will be damaged. There will be worse consequences.”

  What are you saying? I know I’m not getting through to Logan, but I don’t know what else I can do. He can’t understand what I’m trying to tell him. It doesn’t matter how many different ways I try to package it, he’ll never understand.

  “I can take away the night you shared.”

  My mouth drops open. You can?

  “Memories can be altered. If I take it, it’s gone. Like it never happened.”

  What will that do to him? Will he be okay? I feel weird about it, but if it’s the only way to save him from being hurt, could I really say no?

  Logan goes for the door and locks it. I bite my lip as Cupid raises his eyebrows above the sunglasses.

  “Do it,” I say, making Logan turn.

  “You’re mine, Eden. No-one else can have you.” The fire in Logan’s eyes is terrifying. “I just need to make you understand that.”

  I move back as light envelopes him. Cupid’s spell is cast in the blink of an eye. I hold my breath as Logan crashes to his knees. He winces as he looks up at me. The anger is gone from him. He’s no longer staring at me as if he wants to possess me or kill me. He seems confused as he gets to his feet.

  “What just happened?” He glances around and rubs at his temples. “Did I just pass out or something?”

  I take a breath. “You’re in serious need of a break, Logan. I think you should go home with Skyler and Cain when they fly back to L.A. My security systems are all set up now. You have nothing to worry about.”

  Please, tell me it worked.

  He nods slowly, then shakes his head. “You need a team…”

  “Skyler’s setting that up.” Cover every base, Eden.

  “Well…”

  He’s reluctant, but it seems like he’s listening. He doesn’t know I love him. He doesn’t remember making love to me. He doesn’t have a reason to try to stay. Damn, this hurts.

  “Eden, we should talk…”

  Crap. What if he wants to try and start something anyway? I need to push him away a little harder. I hate to do this, but I can’t see what other option I have. He needs a hard no. If I just avoid him he might chase and push me until I speak to him. I can’t wash my hands clean of this until he agrees to leave.

  “Logan, as much as I like having you around, my boyfriend does not appreciate the fact that you just showed up like this. He’ll want to know why you’re not leaving.” I cross my arms. Please, work.

  “Your boyfriend?” He narrows his eyes at me.

  “You need to leave, Logan.” I unlock the door and leave the room, hoping that’s the end of this. I’ll know when he leaves the room. My stomach churns. Please, tell me it was enough. Tell me it worked. I walk towards Skyler.

  Sky raises an eyebrow at me. “Has he calmed down yet?”

  “Almost. Give him a minute.” I pull her over to the kitchen island. “Don’t mention any of what happened to him, please. He’s leaving. We don’t need to talk about it ever again.”

  He comes out and frowns at us. “I’m heading to bed. I’ll leave in the morning.”

  Damn it. I’ll be locking my bathroom and bedroom doors tonight, that’s for sure. I feel totally drained. Any thought I might have had to work on the new song that had been coming to me is gone. I glance at my friend.

  “What did you do in that room?” She seems impressed. “He was dead set on staying. Seemed to think he could talk you around. That he wasn’t just being a possessive asshole.”

  “Promise me, we never talk about what happened with him again. Never talk about it to him, either. He’s agreed to let it go.”

  She nods. “Okay, but only if you promise to dish what happened. No dirty details left out, right, Eden?”

  I should have known. Sighing, I accept the deal. “Sure. Later, though.”

  “So, what’s a girl got to do to get a margarita around here?”

  “Um, go to the store and buy all of the ingredients? And a blender.”

  She shakes her head at me. “Well, then, I guess we’re going out. What are you wearing?”

  I laugh. “Sky, it’s not like we’re in L.A. There aren’t any clubs around here and the only pub is one that old men drink beer in. I doubt you’ll be able to get anything fancier than a bottle of white wine.”

  She grins. “Not what I heard.”

  I don’t know what she’s talking about, but she thrusts her phone at me and the image of our old favorite bar owner makes me gasp. His trademark saucy smile pulls heat through my body. Those sexy green eyes with their hazel flecks seem to twinkle even in the photo. It’s part of a newspaper article. I grab the phone out of her hand. Hold up a second! Nick bought a club in Rapture? I raise my eyebrows at her. She smiles at me.

  “Officially it opens tomorrow. Unofficially, he said we could come for a visit tonight. Exclusive access and drinks on tap for his two favorite customers.” She gives me an excited squeal.

  “That’s pretty cool.” It’s also slightly weird. I move to Rapture and he opens a club here? Assumptions can be dangerous, I know, but I also know how wild Nick can be. If he says he’s going to do something, you might not be able to set your watch by it, but he does tend to find a way to do it, no matter how crazy it is.

  “He did say he’d find a way to see you again when you said you were leaving town.” She lowers her voice, “You’re not all cut up over this thing with Logan?”

  The concern in her eyes makes the pain over what had happened raw again. I shrug, trying not to let myself wallow. What’s done is done. In another day, Logan will be gone.

  “It was a mistake.” One I wish I’d never made.

  She nods. “I mean, he’s hot, but holy shit that man would drive you to drink. He’s way too controlling. You need someone with a wild streak.”

  I roll my eyes. She had a plan with this night out idea, I could tell. “For the last time, I don’t have a thing for Nick.” A lie, but one that felt appropriate considering what had just happened with Logan, and then Asher… My life is complicated enough right now. Adding in a sexy club owner would probably tip it right over the edge into diabolical.

  “Well, he definitely has a thing for you. It’s a nice, big, juicy…”

  I slap her arm and she laughs. Cain shakes his head at us. He’s a nice enough guy, kind of quiet. I’ve rarely heard him talk. I could never guess what he was thinking in a million years. So, it’s probably not a good idea to indulge in girl talk around him.

  “We should get you settled in,” I tell her. “I have like eight spare rooms up there. Oh, and there’s a bar…”

  Her eyes light up. “You have a bar upstairs? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She moves towards the stairs. I follow her, and Cain follows me, a hefty suitcase in each tattooed hand. She stops on the landing.

  “Which room is yours?”

  I point it out and she moves towards the room next to it.
Logan’s room. I shake my head.

  “Not that one.”

  She rolls her eyes. “He just has to crawl right up your ass, doesn’t he? Actually, I’d be surprised if he wasn’t just standing over you while you slept. Someone needs to remove the stick from his butt.”

  She moves down the hall. “So, where’s the bar?”

  I point to the end of the hallway and she picks out the closest room to the bar/lounge.

  “Put my stuff in here please, Cain.” She pushes the door open, hits the lights, and then goes straight into the bar. “Ooh, nice. I see why you picked this place.”

  “It’s not that well stocked,” I tell her. I’d bought some wine and a few spirits when I was walking around town, and found the local liquor store, but I was sorely lacking for mixers.

  She pops open a bottle of wine and picks a couple of glasses out from under the counter.

  “Okay, I’ll keep myself company while you get ready. Wear something hot. I’m sure Nick is looking forward to seeing you again.”

  I head back to my room, but I feel seriously uncomfortable being so close to Logan, so I scoop the make-up I need into a bag and I pick out my outfit and take it with me into one of the unused rooms. The bathroom is smaller, but it’s better than showering in the room next to Logan.

  Sky’s hints about Nick aren’t totally off base, but I’m still not sure what I think about him opening a night club in my town. I’ll wait to find out his answer. I’ll wait to see what happens when I’m gazing into those deep green eyes again. A tremor of excitement rushes through me. I shouldn’t even be considering a hook-up, and I’m not. Nick is a friend who almost became something more when I broke up with Hunter.

  He still could be more to me. If he accepts that he’s not the only one. The thought makes me quiver as I stand in the bathroom, applying make-up with hands I can’t keep steady. I can’t imagine him getting possessive like Logan. The thought of him agreeing to this like Asher did, accepting it so easily, makes my whole body warm and tingly. Could I really have what I’ve secretly craved for so long?